They're out there

Passengers are a funny lot. They’ll tell me I’m the best driver they’ve ever had, yet forget to tip. Or, I’ll literally save their lives, in a near-miss, only to have them wait for $2 change. ‘Hello, mate ?! I - just - saved - your - life !’ ‘O, oh yeah, thanks - hey, don’t worry about the change - thanks again, phew, that was close’.

I guess it’s pure shock, usually mixed with alcohol, which gives people immediate post-trauma symptoms. One of which is forgetting to tip, or even pay ! Sometimes passengers get in, with post-trauma programmes already installed. And some of these programmes, seem to have my name on them....

Late one night, a grim reaper, leaps pixie-like out of Newtowns Marlborough Hotel, and straight into my front seat. I pin him for a junkie trannie, albeit out of uniform. Immediately, he tells me a frenetic story of how he’s dying from AIDS, and only has three months to live. I believe him. He looks like shit - death warmed up.

He’s just spent the day with friends, drinking wine and planning his funeral service. He chose Elton Johns’, Candle in the Wind. Slowly, I warm to his manic energy and we spend the rest of the trip discussing health care and spirituality. Sucks me in completely.

We arrive at Taylor Square, where he airily announces, ‘O, Sorry, I have no money !’. He then gets out and walks quickly to the corner pub. He knows he’s got me, as he turns to watch me from the safety of the doorway. I’m stopped in traffic and can’t leave the cab, though I’m sorely tempted .

The lights go green and the traffic, who can see me standing at the door of the cab, start honking. Shit. $15 lost, on a dead Sunday night. He’s standing there, taunting me with a sleazy grin. Obviously, it’s a well practised scam. I call to him, ‘I hope you die a slow, painful death, you ___ !’.

I don’t know if he heard me, above the Oxford Street traffic, but I immediately regretted it, feeling terrible for the next hour. What if he is dying ? Oh, no........Christ, what’s this bloody job doing to me ? Time to go home and forget about it.