A wage ?

One of my favourite movies is Rodney Dangarfield’s, Easy Money. In it he plays a hard drinking, hard gambling character who is also a charming and loveable family man. When arriving home from a losing day on the punt, his wife scolds him for his incorrigible gambling habit. In response he delivers this memorable line, ‘You only hate it when I lose !’.

On arriving home just now after a disastrous night in the cab, I was reminded of this reverse logic when considering whether I should post another complaint, on consecutive nights. For whenever did anyone hear a cabbie say, ‘Mate, I’ve been making decent money ’. Indeed, the only time a cabbie will talk about wages, is when they’re lousy !

It’s times like this a cabbie either gets philosophical about the game, or gets out. And it’s also that time of the year when one expects takings to be down.

However after 6 weeks of decent pre Christmas/New Years wages, it’s easy to forget about these dreadful nights of no-money. Sure, I only worked from 6 pm to 2 am, but a wage of $ 5.50 per hour, before tax ? Sheessh.....

Right from the start on arriving in the City it felt dead. I mean, New Year Dead. The joint was asleep. The usual ranks were full, but there were no workers looking for a cab home after a hard day. Even the tourist spots around the Rocks, the Opera House and Darling Harbour were dead.

By 7.30 pm after having taken only $20, I gave up on the City and headed for the Eastern Suburbs beaches. These were marginally better and I finally ended up near the Airport on dusk.

There though, on sighting a yard full of non-moving cabs, I didn’t even bother going in. Instead I parked around the back of the kiosk, and went in for an early dinner of halal falafel roll and a Coke.

Drivers were lounging everywhere, or chatting in small ethnic groups of Pakis, Indians, Asians, Africans and Persians. Boredom was the operative word and, if I understood any of their languages, wage-depression would have been the operative phrase.

Next I tried the International Airport and sparked up immediately on seeing an active rank. Within fifteen minutes I’d finished dinner just in time to pick up. I was feeling lucky at last.

A Maori fella jumped in and said, ‘Just round to Mascot thanks bro' - too easy !’. Groan. Not only was it a paltry $12 fare but I forgot to apply the $2 airport tax. Doh.

Arriving back within 20 minutes to find the rank still moving, I was optimistic of jagging a decent fare yet. Only to get a second short fare, this time to Zetland ! A lousy $ 17.50 and the businessman waited for the $ 2.50 change ! Cruel.

Flicking back to the International for the third time lucky I scored a fare into Wooloomoloo for the respectable, yet unremarkable sum of $25. And so the next three hours went in that vein, taking roughly $ 20 per hour.

On making the pay-in at 12.30 am, I almost gave up and went home in disgust, but reasoned with the late start, I was obliged to at least have a go and make something for myself. By now the City was dry as a dead dingo's donger.

After sniffing around Newtown for a couple of small locals I decided to head for the News Limited rank. Finally after a 40 minute wait, when I’d just about read all of Sundays paper, a bloke hopped in for a $37 fare out my way. Beautiful. There is a God after all I decided.

So to summarise, for anyone still interested in my night...

• Hours...8
• Kilometres...191
• Total take...$ 165
• Gas(36 ltrs)...$ 15
• Pay-in...$100
• Take home...$ 50
• GST...$5
• Wage (Gross)...$ 45

Like I said, one either get philosophical about this game or gets out. You take the good with the bad. It wasn’t all bad though.

The Woolloomooloo fare was an English couple returning from Christmas at home, excited and happy to be back, who cheered me up somewhat.

As did my usual Barista, a beautiful Argentinan girl just returned from China. On greeting her with, ‘Hello gorgeous, I’ve missed you !’, she returned the compliment with a winning smile.

And the News Limited cove, a night photo editor, made for an interesting conversationalist on the shift-saving fare home.

Oh, I didn’t mention why I was reading the Sunday rag on Tuesday morning...because Sunday night was so busy, I didn’t even have time to look at it ! But I’m not expected to tell you about the decent shifts....

Comments

[snaketide]

I wouldn't call it whinging. You're giving us a glimpse of the world from your dashboard and to be honest, almost all of it is fascinating (to me, at least). You're also doing great things for cabbies - I doubt I'm the only one that has a greater respect for your profession since reading your blog, and have adjusted my tipping and conversation habits accordingly.

[Alexandrea]

I can only hope there are more cabbies like you winging their way down to Warrnambool. It seems to me that the type frequently mustered in this hovel of retired at age 20's, are only interested in;
a. what's underneath your bra
b. the longest route they can take, and
c. getting back to the rank to light up

I'd rather tip them unecessarily then force the lifting of an arm, causing a sudden onslaught of much feared body odour.

On the bright side it does make me appreciate the decent cabbies,rather than sitting in awkward silence, i'm often treated to a pleasant conversation and fee reduction as well.
Even those that do carry an odour or four can be excused if they're polite.

Afterall, i'd probably reek if i'd been sitting in the same enclosure for several hours at a time.

[adrian]

Thanks Snaketide, nice of you to acknowledge the lot of cabbies. Equally, in doing so it encourages me to leave my cynicism in the boot and recognise the innate decency of most passengers.

Alexandrea, I can imagine the different dynamic between passenger and driver in a small(ish) town. Here one can be largely annonymous without needing to interact. There though I suspect one would often encounter the same driver.

What have you got under your bra ? Here, the major concern is of an entirely different weapon - what have you got under your jacket/paper/bag...only last weekend a driver was stabbed on Oxford St.

You raise an issue I've been meaning to post on for some time, cab odours. I just need time to compile enough precise adjectives to distinguish between the various types. Stand by...

[David Crawford]

I always hear my co-workers complain about the taxi drivers at our local airport (Sea-Tac). Funny thing is, yes they are all Sikhs, yes they all wear turbins, and yes they all look like they are from a different (not european) country. However, I've never, ever smelled anything bad from them bodily.

I think it's more their expectation that a guy in a turban just has to smell. Of course, the guy in the turbin probably has a pretty good idea about how not to smell, and the intelligence to know that not smelling like last weeks curry might get him a better tip. Which makes your average Sikh cab-driver more perceptive than the people I work with.

[adrian]

Yeah, I hear you David. Just last week or so David Letterman opened his show with, 'Is it cold or what ? You know I just caught a cab and the problem is whether to keep the window closed from the cold or, open it for the smelly driver !'. Unbelievably, the audience cheered..!?

What they don't know (yet) is the drivers perspective of cab odours. Whilst I have a notoriously bad sense of smell, driving cabs has exposed me to more odours from passengers than I believed imaginable.

The most common being from food mixed with alcohol. Take 500 grams of food, masticate well and place in a 1 litre container. Add a half litre of alcohol. Stir in liberal amount of stomach acids. Cover with lid afixed with 20mm exhaust tube. Allow to stew for 2 hours, occasionally shaking.

Then place container in cab with closed windows, and smell the 'roses'. Maybe I'll send Letterman a copy of my planned post.

[randwickbelle]

You have me laughing and laughing, people stink ! Its just a fact. Not just cab drivers and passengers, everyone stinks. This is one of the unfortunate side effects of giving up smoking. No one tells you this when urging people to give up.As well as getting your sense of taste back, improving your general health and not puffing so much you also get your sense of smell back. Smokers stink the worst ! Some little old people on the bus absolutely reek ! But giving it up is still the best option. :-)

[adrian]

Also Belle, I believe coffee drinkers can emit a questionable odour...