Cablog

On the Binge

A tall striking blonde in designer jeans and heels hailed me late in the afternoon on Cleveland Street. She stood under an umbrella in the poring rain looking directly at me, eyeballing me. Sure enough, she opened the front door and hopped in. Immediately the stale smell of alcohol permeated the cab.

‘Darlo Bar thanks’, she jauntily announced. ‘Are you on the grog ?’, I cheekily inquired. ‘Well yes, yes, I’m binge drinking !’, she exclaimed. ‘At your age’, I quipped, ‘your poor mother’. She looked across at me and asked, ‘Why, how old do you think I look ?’. Groan...

After ‘Why do you love me ?’, it's one of the dirtiest questions a woman can ask a man. Returning her gaze I sized her up for a moment. She looked pretty good actually yet given I’m hopeless at judging women’s ages, I figured she was anywhere from 30-50 years old. I was damned either way I guessed.

‘Aww...around 26..’, I lied. ‘Darling !’, she squealed, ‘I love you 'cause I’m 46...', and she lunged at me grabbing my arm, '...here, let me kiss you’. A short struggle ensued as I bravely resisted her puckering lips on my cheek. For it was just my luck she was a transsexual. How depressing.

Scalping

Last night I picked up a middle-aged fella at Fox Studios, leaving the Oasis concert early. 'Had enough ?', I inquired. 'Nah, I didn't go', he replied. 'I was working there'. 'Doing what ?'. He paused. 'Well, I'm a ticket scalper', he said somewhat sheepishly. 'Don't you get hassled doing that ?'. 'Not nearly enough', was his strange response.

He explained he bought unwanted tickets below face value and applied a mark-up. 'Make any money ?', I asked. 'Aw, it was allright', he shrugged, 'Just average'. 'Enough to make a living though ?', I ventured. 'Well, I'm supporting a wife and two kids, so yeah I do alright'. 'How far do you travel', I asked. 'The world over', he said. 'Next year will be huge with the World Cup. I'll be in Germany for a month or so'.

I dropped him off at a Coogee hotel thinking, well, he's having a go. Yet couldn't decide if his service was welcome or not. It was that sort of night, couldn't think of much except the constant rain and traffic.

Memed

I've been memed, a vicious honour at the best of times. For those of you unaware of the practise, it involves making a personal list of stuff based on a theme. Thence passing the dubious exercise onto others. Sort of like a chain letter I guess.

Memes are not something I've ever been overly impressed by, considering them with the same disdain as held by Emerald Bile. Apparently one is meant to respond creatively, with a certain wit, at the same time revealing personal details one doesn't want to reveal. After 11 hours in the saddle though, this was never going to happen.

However reluctant as I am, Bourbon Bird passed me the meme and she's a mate, so here it it - for what it's worth. The theme is 'Five Things'...

New World

Late yesterday afternoon I was walking past the local fast food shop. The owners, two older Persian fellas were standing outside, having just locked-up the shop for the day.

Accompanying them was a small boy around 6 or 7 years of age, whom I guessed was a grandson. Whilst the two men lingered chatting together in Arabic, the boy jumped from foot to foot as excitable kids do, keen to get going.

The men then parted, farewelling each other in their native tongue. As the boy crossed the road holding his grandfather’s hand, he called back over his shoulder, ‘Byyeee..!’. Which the other fella acknowledged in yabbered Arabic.

But the kid wasn’t satisfied with this and pointedly turned to loudly yell, ‘See ya, mate !’. This did the trick, eliciting the required response in broken English, ‘Yasar, see u mite !’.

Party On

Legislation was recently introduced into Victoria's parliament requiring all late night entertainment venues to install digital video cameras. The legislation sets minimum recording standards to ensure the safety of staff and patrons,

...sharp, colour images with a greater number of frames per second rather than grainy black and white footage...

Meanwhile in Britain, 24 hour liquor trading has just been introduced after centuries of binge drinking,

Violent crime has risen relentlessly over the past decade, fuelled by alcohol, and convictions for being drunk and disorderly have doubled. Ministers say inflexible licensing laws are the problem, encouraging binge-drinking and forcing revellers on to the streets at the same time.

Over in the US a new program involving 3 cities, Boulder-Colorado, Phoenix-Arizona and Norfolk-Virginia are to trial public/private partnerships to establish vibrant dining and entertainment districts while also promoting traffic and pedestrian safety. Strategies to be implemented include improved taxi service, valet and parking services, extended hours for entertainment venues and inner city pedestrian safety.

Speaking of improved taxi service, all season revellers will be soon relating to the annual bash-a-cabbie, campaign conducted by the press. As the year winds down and news slow to a trickle, this is a particular favourite of editors who find themselves searching for a cab at peak times, usually after a long night on the grog.

So a hapless rookie reporter is ordered to write a piece detailing just how hopeless it is finding a cab at Christmas. I say thank God for Christmas as I'm working in top gear at the moment, exploiting the fact every man and his dog is on the grog. Party on dudes.

Stunned

Most travellers waiting at the Airport taxi rank present a fairly common demeanor. By this I mean a cabbie can easily identify the regular fliers by their attire, their luggage and general disposition - buggered. Normally on a midweek night at the Airport the overwhelming majority of travellers are business people doing what business people do - checkin’ in or checkin’ out.

Sometimes there are the occasional travellers on private business, either on vacation or visiting family and loved ones. They too are easily recognisable with their attire and luggage contrasting to those of the business passengers.

Then there are the rare travellers who not only have unconventional luggage but exhibit all the characteristics of people who have rarely been to the city or use planes. Standing at the rank they appear totally overwhelmed by the bustling Airport. The lights, endless cars and buses, people everywhere, and the resulting cacophony of noise. In short, they look like stunned mullets...

Cruel

This morning at 2 am a young woman wearily exited the Governor Phillip Tower and headed for my cab. The building is home to some of the top legal firms in town, offices which never seem to close.

Young graduates work 12-18 hour days just to get ahead, to make partnership, maybe in 10 years, for the privilige of increasing an already ridiculous workload. Young lawyers of 30 who look 40.

The young woman climbed in the back seat and ordered the upper North Shore. Yet throughout the entire journey never sat relaxed, but hunched over and staring vacantly into the night, as if wondering where her life had gone. I wondered, was this her...      

Sunday Highlights

Sometimes at the start of a shift I think, ‘Mate, this could be a ripper shift’. And so it was yesterday afternoon when I immediately jagged a radio job to the Airport. Thirty five bucks, thanks very much, have a nice trip.

The passenger had flown up from Melbourne for the weekend to pack up a house he’d just sold. However as he only had carry-on baggage, the airline had confiscated tools he needed for the job - Allen keys and screwdrivers. Airline security rules.

For the next few hours I proceeded to steadily work the margins around the inner city. Just on twilight I carried a middle-aged fella to Redfern. He quickly identified my choice of radio playing at low volume, ABC’s 2BL. ‘I listen to it all day in my antique shop’, he said, ‘I love the certain tonal qualities of the hosts, as distinct from other AM radio’. A tone we agreed was comfortable and mature, rather than frenetic and challenging. Call us boring.

An hour later I stopped for another middle-aged fella, travelling to a Darlinghurst restaurant for dinner. He sat up front and we got chatting - ‘how was your day ?’, ‘ready for Christmas ?’, that sort of routine. After a few minutes I realised there was something familiar about his voice. Of an easy modulation it carried an occasional, distinct hesitancy which I instantly recognised.

‘Are you on the radio ?’, I asked. ‘Aww...I may be’, he replied, somewhat bashfully. Busted Delroy ! It was Tony Delroy of ABC’s 2BL Nightlife program, which broadcasts nationally from 10 pm to 2 am, Monday to Friday. For the next ten minutes we had a relaxed chat about 'this and that', yet nothing special.

I informed him that not only was he regularly played in my cab, but in many other night cabs around Australia. Bored cabbies on quiet ranks after midnight take part in his quizz segment, yelling the answers to each other on the rank. In turn he revealed the same phenomena occurs amongst airline pilots, through a web forum, or on their planes. At least I think that’s what he said.

Needless to say, Tony is a perennial favourite for many listeners with his soothing voice and impartial style and I was really chuffed from the encounter...

Agony Aunt

Last night I carried a number of fares from corporate Christmas parties. Popular venues included Taronga Park Zoo, Luna Park and various locations around the city. From one venue I carried two staffers, a man and woman in their thirties and both casually dressed. As I arrived they jumped a waiting throng of formally dressed people and hustled into the back seat.

They nominated two locations way out west then laughed at pinching my cab in front of the others. The bloke settled in for the long trip by slumping in the corner and mumbling, 'Mr. Bean' style. The woman, a chubby and cheerful soul proceeded to check her phone messages, then returned a call...

‘Hi ya honey, I got your message, what’s up....no, no, it’s alright, I’ve been at a work party...well, that’s okay, may as well chat now about it, while I’m drunk...yes, I really liked him, he’s lovely....no, you’re really right for each other...don’t be silly, he’s really cute - he’s a sweet boy...well, it doesn’t matter how old he is....I’m sure he feels the same way about you....yes, I’m really psychic and I can just tell with couples...'

An so on, until the phone connection dropped out. She then addressed her colleague, ‘It’s my niece - she’s got a crush on this boy and 'cause I’m her favourite aunt she asks me for advice. She talks to me all the time’. The phone rang....

‘Hi sweetie, yes....don’t worry about that, there’s nothing wrong about getting with a younger guy....well, when does he turn 16....then legally he’s a minor so hey, you’re going to have to wait till July until you can, like you know, do anything.....bullshit, it doesn’t matter what they think....well if your Dad finds out - sure he will, and we know what your mother is like...so what, you’re 18 so just follow your heart...no, tell them to get fucked...it’s your life, you can see whoever you want...but if they do find out you can’t tell them I told you this....no, because I’m the black sheep of the family...’.

Jesus wept.

Blogroll Update 9

Kimmywoo is a '20-something female with an anxiety/panic disorder working as an analyst in the Finance Industry in downtown Sydney'.

Mark Steyn is an established Canadian journalist who writes biting commentary for just about every publication in the world. A one man global content provider.

Boondoggler is a North Shore mystery man connected with, I think, a bunch of 'failed and destitute, debauched and decadent bean counters, wigs, tooth farriers, propeller heads, quacks, bureaucrats, entrepreneurs, bankers, scrap metal merchants, insurers and peddlers of various pretensions'.

Aaron is a 38 yo US truckie who produces wonderful images and video of his world working the highways. The guy is a techno genius who demonstrates how blogging can be done with magic movies, music and cool trucking content. Highly recommended.

A new blogging enterprise was launched this week in New York, Open Source Media. Originally named Pajamas Media, OSM boasts some of the world's biggest bloggers. Basically,

OSM’s mission is to expand the influence of weblogs by finding and promoting the best of them, providing bloggers with a forum to meet and share resources, and the chance to join a for-profit network that will give them additional leverage to pursue knowledge wherever they may find it. 

Plus use their collective clout to attract advertisers. Members will be paid according to the traffic they generate. Despite having bugger all traffic compared to most there, I've joined the club figuring the only way is up. We'll see how it goes.

Which reminds me, also added is Investigate magazine's new blog, The Briefing Room.