Top Bloke

An Aussie cab drivers association is proposing psychological assessments for cabbies. Let’s consider some basic psychological elements which may be covered in a future questionnaire for prospective cabbies...

1) Describe your temperament for driving taxis -

Umm, if its really hot like in summer Id open all the windows cause me mate tommo hisa cabbie reckons the air conditioner uses heaps gas n passengers never tips anyway so stuff em.

2) How do you rate your ability to drive a taxi -

I got me license and never stuffed up big time or anything like that cept that neg driving thingo but thats like years ago and anyway me mate bluey took the rap cause he was inside liken loaned me his license so no worries there eh !

3) What do you consider your main ambition in driving taxis ?

Aww, just to have an easy time eh. You know do some shifts, kick back with da boys n get on the piss. Plus Me missus gives me so much grief so I figure gettng me cabby license will get me outta the house anyway they cut off me dole bastads

4) How would you describe your moral standards ?

Well I shower twice day like sometimes 3 or 4 times when I score a top batch of goey

5) Finally, describe your personality or, how friends see your personality -

All me mates reckons Im a top Bloke eh and cab driving would be perfect for me eh !

Comments

[huggies]

Would these be your real answers to these questions Adrian ?

[SilverNeurotic]

Jeeze, usually I'm pretty good at deciphering Aussie speak but I'm at a total loss here.

[Lee]

Strike me lucky, Ade...youse lot don't wanna take no notice of any aggro passengers. She'll be right, mate...they're just out for a barney. I betcha they're just in the big smoke to get blotto.

I reckon it must be hard yakka being a cabbie. No worries, mate...she'll be jake! You could always spit the dummy, grab some moola and a few tinnies and go and 'ave a sticky beak at the top end. Struth...no point busting ya gut!

[Klein]

Actually, ever since that Sarah Spiers BS, prospective cabbies in Perth all get psych tests. It's a pretty pointless exercise: Myer/Briggs, IQ tests. Waste of a morning, really. Hasn't visibly improved the pool though. There's only one psych who does it, so It's a nice little earner for him, I guess.