Cemo's

A week ago today, I stopped in at one of my favourite North Coast locations, a small cemetery bordering the Araluen National Park, near South West Rocks. Visiting remote rural cemeteries is a hobby of mine. Whilst some may consider this a morbid practise, I find these places endlessly fascinating.

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Besides the picturesque locations, the main attraction for me is the sense of solitude and tranquillity associated with headstones old and new, bearing witness to lives once lived in the district. Rather than these visits being a spiritual experience, I revel in the history and hints of personality sometimes revealed by the various plaques and engravings. Or favourite items such as fishing lines, beer cans, dolls, figurines, making bush cemo's unique.

Generally my travels are during the week and the cemeteries are deserted. However on arrival last week for my annual visit I came across an old fella exiting the joint. He was around seventy five years old carrying wilted flowers under his arm and was accompanied by a small, neatly groomed lap dog.

After exchanging greetings I asked him, ‘You got family here ?’. He smiled wanly and replied, ‘Yes, my wife’s grave is over there and my son’s next to the wall here’. His son had previously been a high-powered financial businessman in Sydney who had succumbed to leukaemia at age forty five. I asked him, ‘How long has your wife been here ?’. He took a deep breath before replying, ‘Six years ago last week. And I still haven’t got over it. She’d died of secondary cancer, brain tumours, after beating breast cancer’.

Explaining this he became emotional, not due to her passing at age sixty nine, but because the doctors failed to diagnose her tumours. Apparently this is a common development for older women surviving breast cancer. ‘By the time they found the tumours it was too late’, he said. ‘She knew something was wrong for months beforehand but the doctors just wouldn’t listen’.

Sad, but not all bad for the old fella. He still had daughters and grandchildren living nearby and otherwise lived an active life, in one of the nicest districts on the North Coast. We must of chatted for some thirty minutes before he departed and I wandered amongst the graves thinking I’d love to be buried there. Funny how one increasingly considers one’s mortality after reaching fifty. Or just pathetic, but that’s life...and death.

Later whilst lunching on the Macleay River I was listening to a world music program on ABC radio’s The Planet, when the host introduced a beautiful piece of music, with the voice of an angel. It was an Hawaiian compilation of Over the Rainbow/Wonderful World, by Israel "IZ" Kamakawiwo'ole,

Iz's versions of "What a Wonderful World" and "Over the Rainbow" have become Hawai'i's unofficial anthems...with the innocent humming and plaintive 'ukulele accompaniment, a proverbial pot of gold...

Whilst listening to this (scroll down for sample) it occurred to me that, if given the chance, I would happily choose the tune for my own funeral. Which had me recalling a mate’s bush funeral some years ago. He’d pre-arranged the service, including his own musical compositions, traditional psalms, video, plus a guitar for sale to help with family expenses. That may sound weird but he’d been a master craftsman whose quality guitars sold for $5000. But the pièce de résistance was his stipulation that mourners wear Hawaiian shirts to the funeral. Brilliant!

Needless to say there was much laughter and clapping during the hour long service which culminated with a rousing rendition of the Monty Python song, Always Look on the Bright Side. This was started by his wife raising her arms in the air, singing and swaying to the gentle beat, leading the mourners to follow suit. Best funeral I’ve ever attended.

P.S. Check out 28 year old Foz's grave. Local surfer, Souths supporter and party boy, his final request reads..."CALL ME BY MY OLD FAMILIAR NAME, LAUGH  AS WE ALWAYS LAUGHED TOGETHER, PLAY, SMILE, THINK OF ME". Cool, eh.

Comments

[Darlene]

Taking a walk in a cemetery can be very interesting. The headstones say a lot, without saying much at all. They also can remind of us of how lucky we are today. These days, there would never be so many graves containing so many members of families who died at such a young age or in childbirth etc

28-year-old was too young to go. A very nice personalised greeting for Moz.

Nice post; it's very touching.

[graboy]

The local Council does a good job of preserving old cemeteries here in the Macleay valley.

While the Macleay coast environs are very beautiful and relatively unspoiled the upper Macleay reaches are nothing short of spectacular.

Next time you find yourself up this way make a left turn at Kempsey and take the (rough in places) road to Armidale. Paradise country!

[Chris Parkes]

Adrian - Facing Future by Iz - my and my fiance's favourite album. Get in touch with me at my website if you want to know how to get a copy.

[adrian]

Thanks Darlene.
graboy, I think you're referring to the Sherwood Road, or the Goat track. Hear there's a neat little cemo up there somewhere.
Thanks Chris but I've a family member who can secure same. Cheers.

[Lee]

Old cemeteries are interesting places to visit. The one up at Port Douglas is fascinating, for one, as is the Toowong Cemetery in Brisbane, which has not long ago been desecrated by some brainless idiots. For the life of me, I can't understand the mindset of such clowns!

The sons of a friend of mine organised 'A Wonderful World' to be played at his funeral. I, too, have heard Israel Kamakawiwo'ole's versions of the songs you've mentioned. ABC radio plays them quite often. They're great. I think he is dead now, from memory. I'm racking my brain here trying to think of a video/DVD I watched not long ago that had his version of 'Over the Rainbow' in its soundtrack.

[PQ]

Nice post, Adrian. Made me very reflective. I recall visiting Thailand in 1998 and going to Kanchanaburi, near the infamous "Bridge on the River Kwai".

I went to the beautifully maintained War Cemetry there and looked at the seemingly endless rows of gravestones of Australian, Dutch, British and Allied soldiers, murdered by the Japanese in WW2, not in battle, but in captivity, and I shed many tears for the young lives lost, the futures so brutally cut short.
Especially poignant were the many graves marked " An Australian soldier, known only unto God".

Every Australian should visit these War Cemeteries at least once in their lives, and realise the immense sacrifice in blood that has been paid for our freedom today.

[adrian]

Lee, Iz has passed away and there's some neat tributes via the 'sample music' link. The tune is used in a number of movies. Details can be found via his link.

PQ, you're a lucky man as I've long wanted to visit the Burma railway memorial. Saw a great doco recently by an engineer on the building of the railway. What he revealed, besides the terrible suffering and deaths of the POW's, was the far greater numbers of Indian, Chinese and Malays who also perished. He labelled the brutal exercise a 'holocaust'.

[aiko]

adrian

I went to school with "Foz". He was close to a few guys in my cricket team. Was a great bloke. I attended his last night out with the boys at Panania pub. Was a pretty emotional night,especially for the guys close to him. amazing that you would pick his tombstone.

[adrian]

aiko, that's uncanny. Check your Inbox...

[sez]

I rarely comment on the blogs I read almost religiously, but this entry hit pretty close to home. My father died very suddenly early last year and my sister in law suggested that song after hearing it in a Drew Barrymore/Adam Sandler movie (I'm drawing a blank on the name). My mum loved it and said she wanted it at her funeral. Unfortunately hers came less than six months later when she too developed inoperable cancer in the brain after just finishing her chemo for the second bout of breast cancer she had battled.

The song is beautiful, and helps my little nephew understand that Nanna and Grandad have "gone up to the rainbow".