Shift Killer

Yesterday at around 2am I picked up two young fellas in Newtown. ‘Mate, first stop Jannali then Caringbah’, they ordered. Normally I’d be pressed to complete a thirty minute job before the changeover, but I had the cab till dawn so I relaxed. Additionally I knew there would be plenty of work down in the Sutherland Shire to finish off the shift.

Due to both fellas looking pretty rough with one obviously wasted, I requested the fare of $60 up front. They took their time responding so I stopped the cab, until they reluctantly handed over the bucks.

Halfway there the wasted fella woke from a drunken stupor and started heaving out the window. After checking he was clearing the window I elected to keep driving whilst he spent the next ten minutes expelling the contents of his guts. Following vehicles backed off or changed lanes. Finally he de-cabbed and I carried the other fella on to Caringbah.

On arrival the meter showed $53 and I made to give him the change. ‘Don’t worry about it’, he said. ‘Keep it for the mess my mate left’. Then he hopped out. I turned around to find the clown hadn’t opened the window fast enough, leaving some mess inside the window. An automatic shift killer involving a time consuming cleanup and the lingering odour.

Luckily though most of the mess was on the outside(warning-rough image). In the cab game that's a small mercy as it could have been a lot worse.

Comments

[David Crawford]

I'm amazed at the number of pukers you get in your cab. I read the blog written by Wil in Maui, Hawaii, and I never read about him having to clean up afer spewers. You'd think that Aussies, living in a country that enjoys its booze, would've figured out the old equation:

Too Much To Drink = Spewage.

Kinda goes along with:

Too Much To Drink = Brutal Hangover.

and

Too Much To Drink + Trying To Pick Up A Woman = Waking Up Next To A Woman That Would Scare A Prison Guard.

[adrian]

David, whilst grog has always been central to Aussie culture we now increasingly have binge drinking here, especially amongst young women. Believe it or not I'm less prone to pukers than many other drivers and seem to be able to either avoid the worse or nurse other bingers home safely. And given how much people drink, plus mix their drinks or use drugs along with grog, it's surprising how well most cope in cabs.

[Fabian]

Agreed. Bingeing is definitely an undesirable part of Australian drinking culture. We seem to be unable to go out and stop at three or four drinks.

[Lee]

It really is a sad and disturbing blot on our culture, binge drinking. I enjoy having a drink as much as anyone however it concerns me that it's mostly the young folk of today who think binge drinking is the way to go and it's a very smart thing for them to do. If they only knew how far off the mark they are! They're putting their health at risk in more ways than one!

Has the art of interesting conversation gone out the door? Surely, there is little intelligent exchanging of thoughts and ideas going on as they are busily getting out of it! That seems to be their whole goal in life, unfortunately.

[Yobbo]

Bingeing doesn't necessarily mean spewing.

Most people stop spewing when they are old and experienced enough to know when they've had enough.

This around 22-23 years old for most people.

Spewing is quite rare for over-25s, unless there is something else contributing (stomach bug, lack of food or other drugs.)

Agreed. Bingeing is definitely an undesirable part of Australian drinking culture. We seem to be unable to go out and stop at three or four drinks.

3 or 4 drinks makes for a short night out. less than 90 minutes for most blokes.

[Aurelius]

Adrian, hope he didnt get it down the window-slot
That's just disgusting when that happens

[adrian]

Lee, decent conversation is left in the cab on arrival due to the predominance of blaring music in most venues, rendering relaxed chatting impossible.
A fair distinction Yobbo, re the younger boozers. Though my passengers had been celebrating four 21sts parties over 14 hours and the lingering odour was of rum.
Aurelius, you're spot on, unfortunately, though I got most of it. Had the same cab again last night and no odour, phew.

[Lee]

Adrian..that's why I prefer a cosy cocktail bar over deafening, over-crowded clubs any day...but I prefer sitting out on my deck, CDs playing in the background, candles (if at night), fun, interesting conversation and drinks of choice best of all!

[Walter]

I, too, continue to be amazed at the frequency. I had a spewer only once in six years of cab driving (it was a party of teenagers and I didn't know they were drunk until we were moving--when the eruption hit I got the car stoped but one going off, set off all of 'em, all outside though). Oddly enough never had any hard drinking sailors erupt, had a few passed-out drunk but never had them spew.

[go_david]

I know the people who did this.. one of them just showed me this link.. LOL funny story. I should have been in that cab but stayed at the party, lucky me.

[Gerry]

Even worse than the previous comment, the Caringbah (Miranda) drop-off was my son. I'm a regular reader of your blog, so in some ways this shows that it's a small world with only a few degrees of separation. He said that your weren't very talkative ........... I pointed out that neither would he be if someone was spewing in his car. Enjoy your different perspectives on human behaviour.

[adrian]

Go_david, no offence mate but two was company...

Gerry, congratulations ! In three years of posting cab stories, you and David are the first readers to ever respond saying I know/am that passenger/s. Partly due my habit of rarely identifying exact localities or names. And yes, I'm constantly aware of those few degrees of separation, which dictate my accounts be portrayed as accurately as possible.

I guess the boys initial slowness to pay up front had me a little cautious re chatting. This coupled with tiredness, road noise from open front windows (mandatory when carrying drunks), and the plastic cage prohibited normal conversation. Your fella and I chatted briefly after his mate left and I was more relaxed, but he didn't hold the conversation. At the time I thought fair enough, he's tired too, but in hindsight, he knew something I was about to find out !

All up though the boy can be forgiven for an understandable accident. We've all been there. And that your fella refused the change, plus warned me of the mess, was decent and appreciated.

A tip for young partyers - resist the temptation to fall asleep in taxis, at least without an open window handy. Otherwise the driver is legally entitled to claim a $38 cleanup fee, in additon to the metered fare. Cheers,