Unnecessary

Late on Monday afternoon I carried a young couple from Double Bay to the OpenAir Cinema at Farm Cove. This is one of the most spectacular outdoor movie venues in the world with the screen set in the water fronting a stunning harbour backdrop. A perfect distraction from any boring, moody, foreign films. The joint is heavily patronised by trendy, young, Sydneyites and on a balmy summer's evening it’s the only place to be.

Anyway the couple climbed in the back seat with the woman talking loudly on the phone. ‘I mean, I don’t know why they fuckin’ did that. It’s just so fuckin’ weird to run a business that way. C____ told me later he was like, really fucked off and also they were totally fuckin’ unorganised during the whole fuckin’ process. I mean, really...’. Quite.

Now I hear a lot of swearing from passengers, usually late at night after numerous drinks. So common is swearing that I never worry about it as it barely registers. Yet this woman was sober and speaking in an even voice with little rancour or bitterness. And it was really annoying with her sitting right behind me lazily blaring gratuitous profanities.

Obviously this was an exercise in attention-seeking so I decided to accommodate her and set about choosing an appropriate warning for the situation. Either...

1) ‘Lady, you’ve got a foul mouth !’. A real conversation stopper and maybe too strong.

2) ‘Excuse me, can you please mind your language, I’m a Christian’. No, too shaming.

3) ‘Lady, you’re not at home now !’. Too vague, inevitably requiring elaboration.

4) ‘No swearing in the cab !’. Yes, the best option, avoid argument by invoking the law.

With the next profanity I would interrupt her using #4. ‘Anyway’, she continued, ‘I’m over it, even though they want me back for a casting next Monday, we’ll have to see. Hey, why don’t we get together this weekend ? Maybe Saturday night...North Bondi Italian ?...yeah, we’ll get a nice table...okay, sounds good. I’ll call you Friday. Byeeee’.

Not only was that passage free of profanity but also her subsequent small talk with the boyfriend for the rest of the trip. This was puzzling as her swearing appeared to be only related to work issues. However it sounded totally inappropriate, especially for a relaxed Monday afternoon on public transport. Call me thin-skinned but it was like, you know, fuckin’ unnecessary.

Comments

[Yobbo]

People tend to adapt their speech patterns to those who they are around subconciously. You would probably find that the woman's workmates all spoke the same way.

[MikeFitz]

A mate, Peter, was having his inner-city house renovated by a builder who was a good friend. The builder's gang had been working together for many years and their on-site language had evolved to a point where every second word was a swear word.

When Peter's neighbour, a dear old lady, complained about the language, he had a quiet word to the builder. The builder's response: "Jesus, Pete, I'll fucken try!"

[Harry Buttle]

In future, you could try "please tone the language down, you're upsetting the ladies".

[Sheri]

I love Peter's response! Perfect. Perhaps she might have gotten the point. I always wish I could record people when they speak like this so I can play it back to them and they can hear how truly awful they sound.

[Sheri]

I mean Harry's response.

[SurferCam]

My favourite is "You're not at your grandmother's place now." Makes them stop and think.

Also Adrian, after all these years (ok, 6 months), I’ve finally added you’re blog as a link on my site.

[Gabe]

I might say, do you kiss you mama with that mouth?

while thinking...I can't wait until you get out of the cab so I will no longer have to listen to your foul mouthed incessant yapping.

[adrian]

Thanks for the explanations/suggestions folks and SurferCam, cheers.

[marcelproust]

I reckon you could just put up with it. She's not saying it to you and it doesn't sound like it put you in any fear or apprehension of non-payment etc. Actually I think she just rubbed your amour propre up the wrong way because she was ignoring your presence while having this rather vehement conversation. You're only the taxi driver, you know.

[Simmo]

Having been out of the country for about 8 months now, I think I have re-sensitised to the ammount of profanity used by typical australians. This became clear when I attended the Toronto Australian Film Festival (full write up on my site) where one elderly couple left the theatre within minutes of the first film starting and I heard constant whispers regarding the unnecessary language used.

As long as it is condoned by the media can we expect anything else?