Blew it

Around 3am this morning a middle aged bloke climbed in and ordered a City hotel. He was a country fella from interstate and had spent the evening on the grog with work colleagues. However on arrival at the hotel he changed his mind and requested a brothel, despite being required to attend a conference in six hours time.

So I took him to a ‘cabbies’ brothel, where drivers receive $20 for delivering clients. It was a reasonable looking joint, at least the tiny reception area was, decorated in darkened tones. Behind the reception desk framed photos of the girls’ head and shoulders adorned the wall.

"This cabbie recommended you," he explained to a pleasant looking, forty-something receptionist. "Okay then," she said. "It’s $170 for thirty minutes and $290 for the hour. We’re quite busy at the moment, but we have a few girls available," and pointed to four photos. Whilst he looked them over I noted a passageway of doors behind the office.

"Umm...is there anywhere to wait..?" he asked. "No, love," the receptionist said, "we don’t have a waiting area." Christ, I thought, it’s three o‘clock in the morning and he wants to wait !? He then shuffled his feet and slowly checked the photos again.

I imagined each of the rooms were decorated in a fantasy theme...then suddenly thought of an experience many years ago; in another life, another world. A girl had dragged me home from a San Francisco bar, thence left me alone in her room. A big mistake as I was legless from two million beers, and so took the chance to lay down.

Presently she appeared in the doorway wearing a flimsy catsuit and growling like a tiger, intimating I had to chase her around the room to ‘subdue’ her. WTF !? This unexpected turn of events had me laughing so hard I fell off the bed, unable to get back up. And from memory I slept on the floor where I’d fallen, which was only fair enough.

Suddenly recalling this long forgotten disaster caused me to snort a suppressed laugh behind the passenger’s back, which he must have heard. "Well, if you don’t mind," he said to the receptionist, "I think I might pass," then turned and fled out the door. Doh ! I think I blew my twenty bucks.

Comments

[Simon]

adrian

If you don't mind me asking, how does the cabbie get the $20. Do you go into the foyer and wait for the punter to go into a room and then get paid?

[John]

In Dublin (dublintaxi.blogspot.com) we have no legal brothels but lap dancing clubs do pay a reward for punters..
Glad you are back.
We have 2 of those cable bridges in Ireland.

[AG Canberra]

Here in Canberra, a few years ago we too used to get 20 bucks for providing business to these establishments. We all knew which ones payed promptly and which ones were a bit slack. And therefore where to direct business.

I also once picked up a gentleman from a strict Muslim country - whose first destination request was to one of our famous xxx video shops. He came out struggling with a large box full of items....should have presented myself to the counter for my commission!

[adrian]

Simon, depends, one joint makes us wait outside whilst the client meets the girls. Last night I stood by the open doorway with one eye on the punter and the other on the cab.

Hi John, I can't get your link working..?

[marcelproust]

Actually, I think that you should disclose this secret commission to the the punter. If you don't, this is really unethical conduct, no better than the kickbacks from duty-free stores to tour guides.

It may even be a crime. Have a look at section 249D of the Crimes Act

http://www.austlii.edu.au/au/legis/nsw/consol_act/ca190082/s249d.html

That's an indictable offence with a maximum penalty of 7 years' imprisonment!

[adrian]

Marcel, in this case no worries, I informed the punter of my commission.

[marcelproust]

Of course you did, Adrian.

[The Paper Boy]

I'd like to hear more about the bird from San Francisco wearing the flimsy catsuit

[high court judge]

gee marcel the world is full of party pooters like you.

[Alex Nova]

I suggest you go out and talk to women, not visit any brothels.

Alex
http://www.attractwomen.com.au

[adrian]

Paper Boy, sorry, but you'll have to wait for the autobiography.