Cablog

In short

Today I've been mucking around with code to create a text button for those who prefer a larger font. This can now be found above, under the banner.

Me, I don't care for the option due to increased scrolling but recognise some may appreciate reading larger text. For those who do, you may care to confirm in Comments to give me an idea whether to retain the button.

Plus a message to the passenger I dropped in Rozelle this morning, shortly after midnight - unfortunately you forgot to sign the Cabcharge voucher, so I'm wondering if you could email me ? If so, I'll gladly overlook the lunch-box 'incident'...thanks, you're a star.    

Wrong Game

Israeli cabbies must be making a fortune,

"Do you now what an honour it once was to be a lawyer? Do you know how proud my parents were when I became a lawyer? Today a lawyer is worth less than a taxi driver..."

Recently I informed a lawyer, "Mate, for every hour of your service, I need to do thirty eight hours of driving." Good luck to him though, as obviously I'm in the wrong game.

However, I'd do much better in the boom states of Queensland and Western Australia, in particular their mining districts. There are driver shortages in central Queensland and Perth whilst last year regional WA was even looking at importing foreign cabbies,

First it was meat workers and farm labourers, then it was kitchen hands and burger flippers. Now country Western Australia is crying out for taxi drivers and is looking to hire them from overseas because there is such a shortage.

In Karratha, booming thanks to the rocketing iron ore price, you can reportedly earn $120,000 cleaning the smoking room or driving your boss to the airport. The workforce is deserting small businesses needing unskilled labour for the big bucks end of town.

A passenger from Perth recently insisted MacDonalds workers in Port Headland were earning $80K ! Hmm, this blog may soon relocate to regional Queensland or WA.

Poetic

You may recall a recent shift report on my dealings with some Hard Men. How a Japanese businessman waited for 10c change from a short fare. Only to then have a service station operator ‘overlook’ returning my 20c change. Well, early this morning I experienced a reverse twist to the same tale, involving the same nationalities.

This time three Japanese, two males and a female, hailed me outside a City karioke bar for a journey home to Manly. They were fairly drunk and happily chatted amongst themselves whilst I drove in silence, until one bloke alighted near Manly. After which I addressed the remaining fella sitting up front.

He was a young fella working in Sydney for a Japanese company, a bank, I guessed despite his ultra casual attire. When he requested a beach side location in Manly I asked if he was a surfer. "Yes, me surfer, love surfing," he replied. "Before-work surfer, too ?" I suggested. "Yes, everyday surfer," he laughed. He seems pleased I knew of Japanese surfers and we laughed about how many lived in Sydney.

With the meter showing $39.90 the girl said, "Hmm, wait, I have 90c...", indicating the fare would be paid exactly. However the surfer dude overruled her by flopping out a fifty and insisting I keep the change. Magic; for some passing chat I scored a ten buck tip.

Then in some poetic irony after gassing-up, the Indian service station operator failed to return my 10c change, whilst engaging me in conversation. Of course, on this occasion, I was only too happy to forget it. I love those Japanese surf nuts.

Blew it

Around 3am this morning a middle aged bloke climbed in and ordered a City hotel. He was a country fella from interstate and had spent the evening on the grog with work colleagues. However on arrival at the hotel he changed his mind and requested a brothel, despite being required to attend a conference in six hours time.

So I took him to a ‘cabbies’ brothel, where drivers receive $20 for delivering clients. It was a reasonable looking joint, at least the tiny reception area was, decorated in darkened tones. Behind the reception desk framed photos of the girls’ head and shoulders adorned the wall.

"This cabbie recommended you," he explained to a pleasant looking, forty-something receptionist. "Okay then," she said. "It’s $170 for thirty minutes and $290 for the hour. We’re quite busy at the moment, but we have a few girls available," and pointed to four photos. Whilst he looked them over I noted a passageway of doors behind the office.

"Umm...is there anywhere to wait..?" he asked. "No, love," the receptionist said, "we don’t have a waiting area." Christ, I thought, it’s three o‘clock in the morning and he wants to wait !? He then shuffled his feet and slowly checked the photos again.

I imagined each of the rooms were decorated in a fantasy theme...then suddenly thought of an experience many years ago; in another life, another world. A girl had dragged me home from a San Francisco bar, thence left me alone in her room. A big mistake as I was legless from two million beers, and so took the chance to lay down.

Presently she appeared in the doorway wearing a flimsy catsuit and growling like a tiger, intimating I had to chase her around the room to ‘subdue’ her. WTF !? This unexpected turn of events had me laughing so hard I fell off the bed, unable to get back up. And from memory I slept on the floor where I’d fallen, which was only fair enough.

Suddenly recalling this long forgotten disaster caused me to snort a suppressed laugh behind the passenger’s back, which he must have heard. "Well, if you don’t mind," he said to the receptionist, "I think I might pass," then turned and fled out the door. Doh ! I think I blew my twenty bucks.

Two Couples

Early this morning I collected a woman around thirty years old from a surprise engagement party. She was good friends with the guest couple and related how the fella had enlisted her to help select a diamond engagement ring. And for the party he flew his family from interstate and her family from overseas, all this unbeknownst to his girlfriend. Then at the surprise event popped the question during his welcoming speech.

Though his girlfriend accepted the proposal, un-hesitantly, I couldn’t help but comment, "Phew, what a thrill seeker, that’s sounds really risky. How much certainty did he have that she would agree ?" "Well," my passenger replied, "they’ve been going out for three years and have just bought an apartment together, so..." "Lock it in, Eddie," I laughed, which on reflection sounded shallow and unfair.

Shortly after, whilst still pondering this surprise proposal, a young man and woman outside an isolated hotel hailed me. They stood some distance apart and it was only on stopping that I realised they were arguing. In fact, they were loudly abusing each other. She climbed in the back seat alone and slammed the door. Uh-oh, I thought, someone’s not getting lucky tonight.

After a minute of silent travel I asked her, "Is that guy also waiting for a cab ?", reasoning I could score another fare after dropping her home. At first she didn’t reply, then snarled, "You mean my husband..?" After that I selected an easy-music station and left her alone.

SWF

In recent years I've considered attending the much hyped Sydney Writers Festival, figuring it would make sense for one with aspirations of writing a book (don’t ask). So with the Festival kicking off next week, I've just checked out the program.

There are plenty of workshops, talks, displays, awards, presentations, television and radio broadcasts, lunches, parties, et al. Plus appearances by publishers, authors, journalists, broadcasters, economists, screenwriters, designers, actors, artists, poets, musicians...covering, you would imagine, everyone dealing in the written word. Wrong.

Unbelievably there is nothing for bloggers, either featuring blogs or presentations by bloggers. It’s as if the SWF organisers don’t consider the weblog a legitimate writers' genre. Sure, there's plenty of dross in the blogsphere, but also a wealth of great blogs and exponents of the written word, well worth recognising.

Australia’s largest blogger, Sam de Brito, addressed this very issue in a timely article this week in the Sydney Morning Herald’s books section,

"Publishers seem obsessed with the idea that an author has to have an English or a literature degree to be a good writer and I think that's why Australian literature is so anaemic.

"People are increasingly going to the net to be entertained and I think the sooner publishers embrace that the better."

Right on Sam, who also included a generous mention of yours truly - mate, the grogs on me. Oh well, maybe next year blogging will feature in one the 300+ SWF events.

Speaking of words and grog, the annual Bloomsday literary event celebrating James Joyce’s Ulysses happens in a few weeks. Where else, but in a Sydney pub. Details here.

UPDATE : I've received a response from the SWF to an enquiry regarding the lack of blog coverage. They nominate two events inclusive of weblogs, and one blog specific event. Additionally, the 2004 SWF hosted celebrated Baghdad blogger, Salem Pax.

CabDogs

The news of late has been about some radical Muslim cabbies refusing to carry guide dogs. Whilst this is a growing phenomena overseas it's the first I've heard of in Sydney. Though there was evidence of same from Melbourne last year.

Howard Harrison of the NSW Taxi Council summed up the feeling of most last night on ABC TV, a comment along the lines of - if those cabbies won't take dogs then they can either get another religion or get another job.

I've carried guide dogs but am reluctant to carry owner's pets, unless they sit on the owner's laps and don't engage in window licking, slobbering and/or jumping around.

Does anyone know how devout, blind Muslims get around; they don't use guide dogs..?

Species

There is nothing like the annual Origin of the Species football series to tease out the basic bloke. You can separate the man from the bloke, but you can’t erase his species.

Early in the shift I carried four businessmen financial jockeys blokes to a popular Paddington Hotel, better known for its well-heeled rugby union patrons than rugby league punters. The conversation topic was how they might touch-up certain women joining their larger group at the pub.

It was only when the publican boarded, after they'd alighted, that I heard the full story. "They have booked our function room to watch the game," he said. "Plus they’ve hired some beer wenches in bikinis as waitresses." I thought this passing strange in modern Sydney. "What about your barmaids," I asked, "won’t they be offended ?" He laughed, "Nah, they’re young university girls with a sense of humour. If they were older though they might kick up a stink."

We got to discuss the approaching total smoking ban in hotels, due in June I believe. He agreed that smokers would eventually come to accept no-smoking in pubs, though there could be an initial backlash affecting business. Later I wondered if this could be offset with the introduction of bikinied beer wenches to retain basic bloke numbers.

After the game I carried a American businessman home to Bondi Junction and we discussed his local hotels. I was just about to nominate the Nelson as the safest and most relaxed pub in the Jungo when we came upon a crowd spilling outside the hotel. Some thirty patrons blokes kids were celebrating the Queensland win by brawling onto the roadway. How embarrassing; what sort of person goes to such a pub? Oh, wait, blokes like me.

One footy fan fella bloke was found collapsed in a garden bed next to an inner-city hotel, well after midnight. His wife won’t be too impressed when she sees the state of his suit. Another fan after 2am fretted all the way home to Homebush Bay how his wife would kill him. "I was supposed to come home straight after the game," he moaned. "Now there won’t be any sex for at least...aww, three days, let alone any conversation." And so it goes, until Origin 2.

In Brief

Who remembers Trisha Goddard, the first black host of ABC TV's 7.30 Report ? Trisha tooled around Aussie tele for a while before returning home to England. These days she hosts her own chat show and is a real trouper with a sense of humour.

However there was nothing funny about her being racially vilified recently by a cabbie,

"I was on the receiving end of what I can only describe as nasty and overtly racist manhandling because a taxi driver didn't 'want my sort' in his cab.”

In other news a Colorado cabbie has decided the only way to beat a taxi monopoly is to offer free taxi rides,

"I just say I depend on the generosity of the people," Sullivan said. "I don't know if that's permissible, but that's what I do."

Whilst he expects $4 per gallon for gas, not exactly free, the regulatory body is having trouble nailing him because he's not a vehicle for hire. Todd doesn't care,

"It's my social life," Sullivan said. "I'm 71 years old, and this keeps me in contact with people coming into town. It gives me contact with working locals. They're the important people in town, the bartenders, waitresses and cooks. I know lots of them, maybe even most of them. This gives me something to do, something I'm proud of."

I know how he feels. Business lately is so bad it feels like I'm also a charity worker.

Shout-out

A big shout-out to Perth cabbies...WAKE UP !

Don't push it, Becker, it ain't worth it.