Maintenance

Last night I was fortunate enough to collect the last fare out of the Airport. Usually after deciding to respond to a broadcast for late arrivals it ends badly. Seemingly, a million taxis will high-tail it from the City only to find empty terminals full of frustrated cabbies.

Even better than jagging-the last fare out of Mascot (there’s a song in that phrase) was hearing the passenger request a sixty dollar job, on an otherwise disastrous shift.

However the passenger was extremely irritated and needed some careful maintenance in order to settle him down. His fiancée had left their car in the long-term car park but after failing to locate it he gave up and returned to the cab rank. It didn’t matter, anyway, as he’d forgotten to get the key from her.

Needless to say they'd had some frank and honest exchanges over the phone and calls were abruptly terminated. All round it was a nightmare end to a difficult weekend away to meet her parents for the first time.

After explaining how the whole exercise had him reassessing whether she was the right girl to marry, he agreed that such tests upon a relationship reveal true character and the importance of communication, rather than resorting to his old habit of sulking. Plus he loved his fiancée dearly and I reassured him that this would certainly help solve their relationship hurdles. 

Consequently, by the time we reached the destination he was laughing and relaxed and in a much better disposition than when he first boarded the cab. Not only did he leave a tip but he pulled out a Tupperware container and insisted I take a cold, lamb chop which had been barbequed that afternoon in Melbourne.

Despite serious misgivings about health issues I didn't want to offend him so I ate the bloody thing. That was seven hours ago. Now I’m wondering how long it takes for food poisoning to kick in...

Comments

[perception]

haha. I guess you could have "saved the chop for later". Not sure I would be keen to take someone elses food that I didn't know.

[johno]

Ohh No .....The return of the Lamb chop serial killer

[Grendel]

I'm wondering why he was carrying a dangerous lamb chop on board an aircraft.

[Paradise Driver]

Anywhere from 5 minutes to 48 hours.

Of course, that chop was probably safer than any airline food. ;)

[Goldstein]

You brave, reckless, young fool, you.. mmm, a yummy chop, kept at room temperature for several hours, all those bacteria transferred to it by handling with fingers having bred like fury, ready to leap off into your gut..

Seven hours symptom-less.. you're probably alright.. I would have gently but firmly refused it on the basis it's "not kosher" or "I'm fasting for my blood test" or "I have a colostomy, special diet, sorry"..

When I was a child, I went to an Italian kid's house for dinner.. I'd never eaten shell-fish, and they dumped a big crab on my plate.. I had a go at it, cutting through its shell, mashing about..

They let me go at it for a while, then, laughing, the ass-holes, told me that I'd been eating the crab's gizzards -I felt sick all of a sudden, never had another crab..

I kind of want to know where my food has come from, or at least who I sue if it makes me sick..

[Rainer.the.cabbie]

Never mind the chop, as we all know, cabbie's have stronger stomachs than any other living creatures.[Judging by the food we have to eat whilst on the road]. I just hope it didn't come from the Lamb as described by that great cabbie movie "Night on Earth".
I also wonder why you can't charge for the pre marriage counselling.

[Norman Barke]

LOST.

Last Monday the 11th, I took a cab from Waitrose in Marylebone to Gilbert Street and left my Glasses and a Fountain Pen inside.
I believe the Driver tried to contact me at Moore Buildings.
I very much need my glasses, also the pen is sentimental,
I am very happy to offer a reward to obtain there safe return.
I have contacted lost property but to no avail.
If you can help at all, please contact me on 07973 206287 or
020 73552396.
Thank you,

NORMAN BARKE