Top blokes

Most cabbies score a ridiculously large tip every year or three. Mine came last night when a couple of top blokes tipped over 300% of the fare.

Around 9pm two dishevelled fellas in suits approached me outside the Coogee Bay Hotel and requested Bondi. “Mate, just get us out of this f...... joint and back to our motel, but first take us to the nearest bottleo.”

It was obvious they had attended Randwick races that afternoon - the sunnies sitting atop a bald head is a dead giveaway - and had at least 8 hours drinking under their belts. Yet despite being barely able to walk they were aghast that “that black half-Australian door wanker” had determined they were too pissed to enter the hotel.

I tried to explain the hotel’s position. “Mate, that pub just been voted the most violent hotel in the known universe so naturally they’re a little sensitive about serving drunks.”

“We don’t give a shit,” one protested. “Up in Queensland we get none of that bullshit from the door. All we want to do is find a corner for a quiet drink and a chat.”

Yeah, I thought, until you lurch into a patron who objects and next thing you’ve started a punch-up. So pissed were they that a drive thru bottle shop wouldn’t serve them!

Finally, after some badgering...”mate, mate”, I agreed to find another bottleo and buy the grog for them, to take back to their rooms for a ‘quiet drink’...

• 3 bottles of Yarra Glen merlot
• 4 cans of Wild Turkey and Coke 
• 2 packs of Winnie blues

At the motel I struggled to convince them that a drink together was out of the question so they flicked me $110 for the $25 fare. Naturally I protested, for about a second, before drawing their attention to a pretty young woman waiting to board. That got them out of the cab real quick.

Top blokes.

Comments

[George]

Great story. Its a shame the story didn't end with a happy ending from the nice young woman!

[Don Wigan]

Great story. I stay out of the night shifts because I can't hack too much of drunks, and I'm a bit old to take any on in a fight these days. But I must admit the majority are harmless, albeit noisy.

I got a tip yesterday from a daggy-looking bloke who only went about 2km for a fare of $6.90. He handed me a $20 note and said that was close enough.

I'm still trying to work it out. I don't think he was full, and I didn't give him any special service.

[involved]

They probably had half a drink and crashed. lol