Too gay

Around 3am this morning this American fella boarded the cab outside the Home nightclub at Cockle Bay, Darling Harbour. Some 3000 clubbers were partying at the traditional Mardi Gras after-party, appropriately called, Homesexual.

"So how was it?" I asked. "Oh, it was just awful," he lamented. "What, too crowded?" He laughed, "No, it was too gay!" This took me by surprise and I sought an explanation. "Well, don't get me wrong, I'm gay, too. But I'm really over that silly 'gay' behaviour."

At first I thought he was referring to the numerous trannies attending the event. "No, I'm fine with them." When I suggested screaming queens with their effected voices and excessive flouncing, he agreed. "Exactly. Can you recommend a bar with mature gays?' I dropped him at the Columbian hotel.

This exchange reminded me of a post by renowned Aussie blogger, Sam de Brito, titled, Why do gay men act so gay?...

What I don't understand is why gay men, even those who are in long-term stable relationships (and thus not likely to be on the prowl for a root) still adopt the slight lisp and effete mannerisms at work, on the street, in any number of situations where they're not in the company of other gay men?

Speaking of de Brito, the Sun Herald yesterday re-published a blog post he wrote some time ago on immigrant cabbies and to which I contributed. Unfortunately there's no online link but the original can be found here.

Comments

[jayjay]

Totally with you, your passenger and Sam on "why do gay men have to be so gay". Wow! Why do they have to be gay and proud? What's with the Gay Mardi Gras? Does being gay need to be announced?

[jayjay]

What I want to know is why do you need to be "gay and proud"? (as per Gay Mardi Gras speak) Can't you just be someone who happens to be gay without any need to spray about it?

[Not a fan of Sam]

Adrian,

You do yourself a disservice by referring to Mr de Brito. You're twice the writer, blogger and social commentator that arrogant Bondi knob can ever hope to be.

[Rainer the cabbie]

JJ
You will find that the Mardi Gra had its origin in the Stonewall riot and is, in its origin, a protest march. That's where the proud thing comes into the equation.
As to Queens being Queens, isn't that the reason for being gay in the first place? I met some very butch and dangerous looking gay people in my cab, but the moment they open their mouths....
Great blog link Adrian, a story worthwhile reading. Question : Where would the cabbie go in Istanbul to sink his teeth into a good pie or pluto dog?

[Marcellous]

Doubt if the Colombian was the right place but probably most mature aged gays stay at home.

But who draws the line past which "flouncing" becomes "excessive"?

Anyway, the flip side of Sam de B's question which you post is, if that is who they are, why should you assume they're just doing it to pull a root, and why should they conceal or feel obliged to conceal it when they are not in the company of other gay men?

The answer's obvious: most gay men for many years had to conceal it to survive; now such concealment is less necessary (though plenty still choose to conceal their gayness, even though often they unwittingly fail totally) and that in itself is a political reason why gay men might choose not to keep their flouncing down to a level that you don't find excessive.

Actually, from your account your passenger's complaint seems more about the over the top behaviour of young people at a dance party. What did he expect? It wasn't the right place for him.

[adrian]

Jay Jay, older gays have remarked to me they feel the Mardi Gras has outlived it's usefulness by continuing to marginalise them, at a time when gays just wants to be seen as another segment of the community. Conversely, on Saturday retired judge Michael Kirby justified Mardi Gras on the grounds of diversity.

Not a Sam fan, I can only hope to be one tenth the blogger Sam is. Your slur is unsupported, unsigned and thus unfair.

Rainer, if Instanbul is anything like Beirut, Athens or Cyprus, then it would not be uncommon to hear Aussie accents amongst many Aussie born locals visiting the homeland. Maybe there are cab garages in Instanbul selling pies from a caravan with cheap flashing lights! Oh, and maybe a background tele showing the NRL or cricket.

Marcellous, maybe 'exaggerated' is a better descriptor than excessive. The defining line is probably when they are under the influence, i.e. heightened sensation or unrestrained euphoria. And yes, I also guessed that age difference was the issue.

[mutley]

Adrian,

Your RSS feed doesn't appear to be working. I was just about to delete it and forget about it (I don't clean up very often!), but thought I'd try the base url first, and lo and behold, you're back!

[damon]

Adrian/Mutly,
RSS working OK for me in Google Reader.

Keep up the entertaining posting.

[adrian]

Mutley, did you get it working? If anyone else is having trouble with the RSS feed let me know.