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May 26, 2009

Dismissed

Speed camera a

This was me last July cruising through a school speed zone, covered in detail here. Well, after a number of false starts I finally had my day in court yesterday.

Armed with a solicitor I managed to score a Section 10 which means that despite a guilty plea, the Magistrate accepted my defence of 'honest and reasonable mistake'. It also helped presenting a driving record of only five offences over the past 17 years, and wearing a suit!

Thus the offence was dismissed and no conviction recorded. Also the fine and court costs were waived. Now the bad news. The legislation(27) stipulates that the demerit points must stand...

NSW legislation specifies that demerit points must be recorded on your traffic record for all offences where the Court finds you guilty irrespective of whether or not you've been convicted.

Doesn't matter, I'm happy with the judgement which I hope to post a transcript later. After two hours I was out of there and headed straight for a family funeral. What a day.

May 22, 2009

Celebrate

PlatfbPlatforma

Here's platform 4/5 at Hornsby station yesterday at noon. I counted approximately 100 twin-tube fluorescent light boxes which, coupled with those on platform 1 and 2/3, totals some 500 tubes blazing away. Then there were the incandescent globe lanterns...

And I thought, it's a wonderful society which can celebrate our unlimited access to power in such a generous fashion. Burn, baby, burn.

Speaking of celebrating society...

UPDATE: Punk'd!!


May 20, 2009

Coping

This post addresses two of the most common questions asked by my passengers: a) How on earth do you cope with drunks, and b) What do you use the video camera for?

Firstly I've learnt that the best method of dealing with nasty, argumentative drunkards is to give thanks I don’t have to live with them. Thus, in most cases it’s easy to endure their infantile behaviour knowing they will soon be out of my life, gone forever.

In short, don’t react to someone else’s nightmare – that’s their partner’s lot, not mine.

The camera is also a phone and sat/nav device, with video taping on standby position. Not only does it capture blog material but also comes in handy when fellow motorists seek to apply pressure, mostly other cabbies! Once they see a video camera operating they invariably back off.

In the following encounter the camera serves a useful third function, that of recording bad behaviour or potentially reportable situations where it’s helpful to have a tape of what transpired. Or just the visible presence of a video camera is enough to subdue misbehaving passengers.

Regarding this a middle-aged woman on Saturday night climbed in the back seat and announced, “Driver, I’m drunk!” Fair enough, so I left her alone and drove real steady in silence, save for some gentle radio playing in the background.

Approaching the destination I requested which of three exits she preferred in order to best reach her street. This was rudely dismissed with an inaudible mumble as she continued played with her phone. To be fair, she was having a hard time locating someone and was clearly frustrated.

When I reached for the directory at the next traffic lights she snapped, “You don’t need that, smart arse, I’ve told you where I live!” But as soon as I attempted an explanation she exploded, “Just shut your fuckin’ mouth and drive!” Charming.

With that I immediately triggered the video camera, bringing the blank screen to life and sending a clear message that further abusive and/or unreasonable behaviour would be taped. And she was smart enough to realise the implications. In the end it served to neutralise a vitriolic drunk.

May 19, 2009

Bloomsday 2009

Once again Cablog plugs the annual Sydney Bloomsday event occurring on Monday, 16 June at the RPA, Camperdown. 

For lovers of James Joyce head over to Sydney Bloomsday for further details.  

May 18, 2009

Drowning

On Saturday afternoon at the racecourse a middle-aged punter opened the door. “I’m too pissed to drive home” he told me, “and just want somewhere to stay overnight.” I told him to get in.

"Any luck on the punt?” I asked. After taking a deep breath he said, “I just dropped ten grand...but it’s only money, isn’t it?”

Then he proceeded to tell me his life story and given he’d chosen a classy hotel some distance away, I was a captive audience. But I didn’t mind as he was relatively upbeat and intelligent, without being boorish like some drunks.   

“Basically, I’m a drunk,” he stated. “Because of the drink I’ve lost my wife and my family.” He explained that the problem began whilst chaperoning his teenage son around the country playing cricket.

Though the kid had been successful and reached State representation, my passenger turned to alcohol to help while away endless four day matches in cities and towns with only strangers for company.

“Then I started drinking back at home and after a few years it got so bad my wife decided she’d had enough. Now I’ve got no family, no friends, nothing. Nothing except work, drinking and gambling.“

It was apparent that he especially regretted losing his son and agreed that this really hurt. Yet he seemed surprised when I suggested he was headed for a lonely death, like he’d never considered that possibility and he fell silent as we reached the hotel.

We chatted for a further five minutes and with another passenger waiting I decided to force the issue with some brutal honesty. “Well, mate," I blithely stated with a smirk, "if you’re going to drink yourself to death, you might as well save time and end it now !”

Immediately I regretted the comment and had visions of him plummeting from the top floor of his hotel. Fortunately, however, he chuckled at the black humour and conceded, “Yeah, I know, it's bloody ridiculous, I have do something. Got any suggestions?”

“It’s probably too painful for your family or friends to do the heavy lifting,” I said. “But if you want to regain their respect, start with a professional.” Grabbing a pen and taxi card I jotted down, ‘Gambling, Drug and Alcohol Clinic’. “Ring your local Health Service,” I told him, “They have free counselling on Medicare.”

He was so thankful for the advice he shook my hand three times in gratitude...then waited for his $3.50 change. It was my turn to chuckle.

May 14, 2009

Bashed

On half a dozen occasions last night I passed the scene of yesterday morning’s vicious bashing of an off-duty police woman on her way to work. Until 3.30 this morning the area remained cordoned off as a crime scene, attended by numerous police and forensic staff, directly opposite where I stop for coffee.

During one stop I flippantly remarked to the barista that it seemed unusual for a crime scene to remain in place for so long and was most likely the result of the victim’s status as a police officer. The inference being that cops pay more attention to crimes against their own than they do for crimes against regular citizens.

The barista chided me for the suggestion, and rightly so. “Well, that’s how it should be,” he replied, explaining that it sent a clear message to thugs that they better think twice when contemplating mugging someone, especially women, as attacks against police won’t be tolerated.

Of course he was spot on. If scumbags think they can operate with impunity and get away with assaulting police, even inadvertently, then an immutable barrier is breached and society is one step closer to anarchy. Accordingly a higher penalty for such crimes is justified, though whether this is applied in law I’m unsure.

Arriving back at the cab with my coffee I noticed a lone cop guarding the pedestrian overpass leading to the crime scene. Being close by I headed towards him to inquire of the victim’s condition and offer condolences for his colleague.

However when he saw me approaching he pulled out a phone, turned his back and ignored me. Fair enough, too.

UPDATE: Good news

May 07, 2009

Murphy's Law

Early yesterday evening I swung into St Vincent’s Hospital to find a bloke leaning on crutches and waiting for a cab. He looked around forty years old, tall and thick set with one leg in plaster and a heavily bandaged arm.

After helping him aboard I asked, “So, what happened to you, been on the grog?” “Nah, stone cold sober,” he replied, “but I should've been pissed seeing as what I done.”

That morning he’d been waiting for a country train at Central Station. “I was in the waiting room,” he explained, “and was charging up my lap top and phone. But I didn’t want to leave them to go for a smoke so I decided to stand outside the window and keep an eye on them.” This was his mistake.

100520091700aOutside the window was a construction area shielded by a row of Portaloo toilets. Between the dunnies and the waiting room windows, a one metre wide space, were a series of boards covering holes in the ground. From memory these holes are normally protected by closely spaced steel bars set into the pavement.

Instead of using the door my passenger slid out the window and onto one of the boards, which gave way. “Next thing I know I’ve fallen seven metres to the street below and busted my foot and my arm. It took the police rescue squad, fire and ambulance services to get me out. And I’ve been at St Vincent’s ever since.”

It seemed unbelievable that such a safety risk was not assessed by the Rail Authority and I suggested he consult a lawyer. Indeed, I told him, he was lucky not to be dead or crippled.

Later in the shift I dropped another passenger at the same place and stopped to see how the accident could have occurred.

The large old-style railway windows, whilst around knee-high inside the waiting room, on the outside were some six foot about the ground. Therefore, to climb out the window the ‘victim’ needed to free fall the last few feet onto the board shielding the hole.

Thus his weight of around 100 kilograms was enough to smash through the cement board. And 100 kilos accelerating at 9.8 metres per second squared makes for an impact speed of...OUCH!

One doesn’t normally expect people to exit a building via the window, though it could be reasonably argued that exceptions be made for Country Link patrons (hey, that's me!). 

Regardless, it is surely written into the occupational safety manual that Murphy’s Law applies to every situation and, given there are a lot of bloody idiots around, all scenarios must be anticipated.

I predict he’ll get at least fifty grand, courtesy of the taxpayer, most likely.

May 04, 2009

Flooding

Coogee lake


Due to being out of town last week I missed all the wet weather, especially on Saturday evening when the Eastern Suburbs copped it.

Reader Al of Coogee sends this image of a flash flood virtually lapping at his doorstep.

The previous week World's Best Job candidate, Aussie James Hill posted an Eastern Suburbs video montage enroute from London to Hamilton Island for the final selection testing commencing today. Follow James' amazing adventure here.

UPDATE: Congratulations to Ben Southall from Britain, a worthy winner.

Welcome to Adrian Neylan's blog of Sydney taxi stories.

'..hilarious, depressing, monotonous, uplifting.'
SMH - Ten Best Blogs


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